Bella Jumps Off the Cliff
by twiwriter98
Summary: When Bella tries to kill herself by jumping off the cliff, Alice gets the vision in Edward's presence. Will he return to Forks to save Bella, or go straight to the Volturi?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:**

**Hey guys :) So smiles if you read my last story, and welcome to insanity if you haven't read anything I've written before x**

**This story is a lot more serious than my last one, so the humour probably won't occur as much as in the last one. Also I wrote this before bed in, like 20 minutes, so there isn't much imagery and I don't think it's as good as it could be, but I'm putting it up anyways because I HATE EDITING.**

**So yeah.**

**Read.**

**Review.**

**Don't hate me.**

**:)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or posses any of Stephanie Meyer's talents (or Miranda Kerr's looks, for that matter). This is the only disclaimer I'll have, because, unlike my last highly italiced (my readers from the last story should get that) story, it doesn't have the past and future and present and all that. This is one time frame haha ;)**

My eyes traced the cracks, invisible to the human eye, on the ceiling.

"He needs her," Esme pleaded with Carlisle. They were downstairs, in the kitchen, whispering to each other. I tried to stay out of my family's mind as much as possible now. Too many things would remind me of Bella, of her angelic face, her intoxicating scent…

"We all do," Carlisle replied. I could feel the sadness in his voice, and the faint sound of their clothes rustling as they embraced reached my ears.

"We're not going back," I growled under my breath.

Esme sighed, trying to hold back a sob as Carlisle comforted her.

The ruckus from my siblings grew louder as they reached the house. Emmett boomed, throwing Jasper playfully into a tree. I knew they wouldn't come too much closer, though. The emotional pain was too much for Jasper, and I knew he blamed himself. Emmett and Alice tried their best to keep Jasper company during his separation from the house, and Rosalie just didn't like putting up with me.

Alice's tinkling laughter floated up to my room as Jasper wrapped his arms around her waist. I swallowed a groan, turning over and pushing my face into the pillow. Rosalie followed behind, as silent as a panther, refusing to join in with their antics.

_The wind blew her hair around her face, a dark curtain enveloping her delicate features. It didn't matter, though. I would recognize her hair anywhere – my Bella. But she wasn't the same person as before. Her green jumper, the one that fit perfectly last September, now hung loosely around her stomach, almost falling off her bony shoulders. Her almost too-tight jeans swallowed her skinny legs up. Her face… Her beautiful face…_

_Purplish bags hung under her empty, weary eyes. The skin that used to be so full of life, cheeks always rosy, lips always red, was now pale and dull, a greyish tinge touching all of her features. Her lips were thin and chapped, and even her hair hung limply, the luscious curls and shine gone._

_Her bottom lip trembled, and she opened her mouth slightly to breath. A skeletal hand pushed her hair behind her ears. A real storm was rolling in, the trees behind her almost at a ninety degree angle. Twigs and leaves were blowing everywhere, occasionally, whipping against Bella as she stood there._

_Aside from the slight rain sleeting down, nothing else gave away her location. The sky above was almost black, even though I could tell it was late afternoon, not even evening. She let out a shallow breath, clutching her hands together and wringing them. A tear streaked from her eye, running down her face and dripping off her chin._

_I longed to reach out, wipe away her tears and hold her close in my arms, but I couldn't. I could only watch as she took another shallow breath, whispering "Edward" as she let it out._

_My heart broke at the sight. I had done this to her. I had done this to such a precious, beautiful creature. I left to save her, but I had only hurt her. Had she been like this the whole time? She didn't look like she had been eating… what had I done?_

_She took a step forward, and I half expected her to collapse on the ground, screaming and finally allowing herself to break. I could see her body fighting with itself – the shadows behind her eyes, the pain hidden in her face. She looked broken, but I could tell she was haunted, never allowing herself past the brink of madness, even though she desperately needed to._

_Two more steps led her to the edge of the grass, when I finally saw where she was standing – the edge of a cliff._

_"NO!" I tried to scream, but it was no use. I couldn't do anything but stare helplessly as more tears streamed more frequently down her face, and sob after sob tore from her chest. I was doing this to her. I was causing her this pain. My fault, all my fault._

_I've never felt like I was torn in half before. I thought I had, when I left Bella. I wasn't whole, I had left my other half in a rainy town, and I so desperately pleaded with fate for her to be in my arms, every single second, day and night. But that was nothing compared to how I felt now – every fibre of my body was on fire, every part of me was feeling more pain than I could ever imagine. My heart was actually hurting in my chest, my head about to explode. I couldn't tell if I was crying out or not, but I could feel Esme and Carlisle around me, Esme clinging to me as if I was dying. I felt like I was – I wanted to, once and for all. This was infinite times more painful than my transformation. Every atom of my existence was torn apart and scattered, and I felt empty, but at the same time, full of horror, shock, anger… I didn't know how to describe it._

_I was forced to watch as she squeezed her eyes shut. "I can't keep doing this without you," she sobbed. "I need you, but I know you don't need me. Have a good life, please, for me. I love you, Edward."_

_"NO!" I tried to scream again, but she couldn't hear me. The wind thrashed at her again, trying to push her off the edge, but she didn't need its help. Bella, a precious angel, a gift to earth from the heavens, the most beautiful and delicate creature I've ever had the luck to touch… She jumped._

_I could see from the position I was at as she fell. She tried to fight, but a scream tore from her mouth. A bloodcurdling, heart-wrenching scream that broke my heart again, destroying the broken fragments. Her body smashed against the reckless, wild ocean, falling into its depths. I could see her body thrashing helplessly under the water, but soon she was too far in for my eyes to follow._

_I tried to scream, to fall to the ground and fade away into history. I wanted to break down, to smash something, to stop existing, but I couldn't. I couldn't do anything but stay in the location where I had killed the love of my life._

_She didn't resurface._

It was both a pleasure and a relief to come back into my own body, where I could command what was happening. Two thoughts came to my mind at once, struggling to be heard above the flood of others.

The first was Bella. I couldn't stop replaying her broken self, the way her body collided with the water, the way she whispered goodbye to me.

The second was the Volturi.

"Edward, please!" my eyes looked down, to where Esme held me close against my chest. "Please, tell us what's wrong!"

"Son?" Carlisle was beside her, one hand on her back. I couldn't not see the thoughts in his head. Ones where I screamed and thrashed on this bed while Esme fought to wake me.

"Bella," I whispered.

They both gasped, and in less than a second I was outside, holding Alice by the shoulder's and shaking her graceful frame. "What was that?" I demanded.

Jasper tore me from his wife, growling protectively. Emmett placed one hand on my chest to stop me from moving back to Alice. Rosalie looked smug, crossing her arms and laughing in her mind to herself.

My jaw was tight, eyes dark as I turned to her. "Bella's dead," I announced quietly. "I hope you're happy."

I turned back to Alice. "When did that happen?" I asked. She didn't reply. She was still in too much shock to comprehend what was happening in the present. "Alice!"

"Edward, calm down," Carlisle instructed, appearing at my back. "Let Alice think. I'm sure there must be some mistake, some confusion. Alice's visions aren't always infallible-"

"There was no mistake," I hissed. "I saw it. Bella jumped off the cliff and she didn't resurface."

"Maybe someone pulled her from the water," Esme suggested kindly, trying to convince herself as well as her family.

"No one else was there," Alice breathed. Her glazed eyes returned to normal and she faced me.

"Look for her future," I demanded.

"But-" Emmett began. I knew what he was going to say. 'What if she doesn't see anything?', 'What if Bella doesn't have a future?'… 'What if Bella's dead?'

"Just do it," I fumed.

Alice hesitated before closing her eyes. I felt like sinking to the ground and never standing up. She couldn't see anything but black.

"This doesn't mean anything, Edward," she declared. "I've been blocking her out for months. If I was seeing her whenever I wanted, I'd be very confused. That was something significant, that's why I saw… what I did."

"You saw Bella's death," I growled. "You saw the consequence of my actions. You saw what a monster I am. You saw-"

"Stop it!" Esme begged. "Just please, stop it. You aren't a monster, Edward. Please-"

"I don't deserve your sympathy, Esme," I replied, turning and looking at the ground. My voice sounded rough to my own ears. "Save it for someone better." I could tell she was shocked at my words.

"Bella's dead because of me," I stated, my voice rising. "It's my fault she's dead. I killed her!"

**A/N:**

**Ten reviews for another chapter… I'm sorry. Hope you liked it. I didn't really, but hopefully you guys are all bonkers. That's what I'm counting on, anyways :) x**

**~Pascal**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So after a month I got my seventh review and decided to post this second chapter… I got a lot better reviews on my last story, so let's hope I get better as I progress! :)**

**No more disclaimers, if you seriously want one, refer to chapter one please.**

**Enjoy and COMMENT!**

BPOV

"Are you sure you're okay?" Jacob asked, concern furrowing his brow.

"I'm fine, Jake," I insisted, clutching the ice pack to my forehead. "A bubble bath and a band-aid and I'll be right."

"Bells, I think you need stitches," he pushed, his rough fingertips brushing the hair off my forehead. I froze for a second, just a second, before my heartache caught up to the present, and I turned away.

I forced my feet to move, dragging them to the other side of the kitchen. The room started to spin, and I clutched the countertop with my left hand, trying to maintain balance. "Umm… Jake?" I asked woozily. "I think you should go."

"Not until I know you're okay," he argued.

"Jake, go, now!" I practically shouted. I winced at his silence. I was a cruel person, making Jake suffer just because I was. This wasn't how I planned it, though. I didn't mean for it to be like this. But every second without… _him_, was a second I was in agony. It felt like my heart was being torn from my chest. I could literally feel the torturous pain in my chest. But I put on a smile and pretended I was fine. Most people believed me, and I only let my demons when I was alone.

"Bella?" Jake whispered.

I took a deep breath and turned around. The hurt look on Jacob's face only added to my misery and guilt, and I took a step forward before stopping myself. "Jake, please, I just want to get some rest."

"I'm taking you upstairs." His voice was final, but I argued anyways.

"Bella, why do you have to be so stubborn?" he complained. "I'm trying to do you a favour, can't you see that? What's Charlie going to say when he comes home and sees that awful cut on your forehead?" I winced at the reminder. "How are you going to tell him the truth? It'll break his heart!"

"I'll tell him I tripped in your shed and hit my head on a hammer," I whispered.

"No." He shook his head and walked towards me. "Bella, if you do that, I will drive over here tomorrow morning and tell Charlie what happened, and I won't sugar coat it."

"You wouldn't hurt him like that!" I almost shouted before grimacing at the sharp pain in my head and lowed my voice. "He's your father's best friend, Jake. You've known him since you were little. This would _crush _him."

"Then tell him yourself." His voice was gentler this time as he took my remaining hand in his own, covering it with his hot palms. "Bella, if you tell the story, you can protect him. I can't."

"How am I supposed to do that?" Tears welled up in my eyes, but I refused to let them go. "How am I supposed to tell my father I tried to kill myself, and I'd be dead right now if you hadn't of been hunting a vampire with your werewolf senses."

"Try to leave out the magical stuff?" he asked, his lips forming a soft smile.

"I don't know how to do this," I whispered. Our bodies were becoming increasingly closer, his chest inches away from mine, our hands still connected.

"Then let me stay," he whispered back. "I can help you."

"I don't know how to do that, either." We both knew that if I let Jacob stay, something would happen between us, and, after Edward, I didn't know if I could bear that. I was still irrevocably, undeniably in love with him.

My eyes darted from his own, warm and trusting, and down to his lips. I glanced back up. I had to stop this, I couldn't let it go any further. "Jake, I whispered, we can't do this."

"Then tell me to stop." His voice was rough and low, as his hand went up to cup the back of my neck. His head dipped down, his eyes closing in time with my own. With a thump, the ice pack fell from my hand and landed on the floor as both my arms wrapped around his neck, pulling us closer together. He hesitated, our lips millimeters apart. "Tell me to stop," he whispered again, and I froze. Our lips were parted, our breath mingling in the tiny gap between us.

"Be happy," his voice whispered. I had a feeling that if I turned around, I'd see him there. Not my Edward, but the Edward my memory conjured up. The same vision I saw on the motorbike, and the meadow, and just before I jumped off the cliff earlier today. But I couldn't wait any longer.

With a burst of love and passion, I pulled Jacob towards me, and our lips connected. At first, our movements were slow and gentle, feeling the emotion in the moment. Every now and then, we'd pause, gasping to catch our breath, before resuming. Soon, the kiss deepened, and it turned into a hungry struggle. Jacob's hands roamed around my back, and my own tightened on his neck.

It took strength, but I managed to tear myself away from him, struggling to breath. I bent over, hands on my knees, my heart beating terrifyingly fast against my rib cage.

"Bella… that was… amazing." I looked up, brushing hair away from my sweaty face as I looked at Jacob. His eyes were lit up, his mouth forming the largest grin I'd ever seen him wear. "It was-"

"-a mistake," I finished. He hesitated, looking at me. Slowly, the light in his eyes faded, and his smile started to waver.

"What?"

"Look, I'm sorry Jake," I plowed on. I had to do something to make this right. "I shouldn't have let it get that far. I'm sorry. I don't… I don't love you like that." I waited for him, letting the words sink in. I saw his expression fall, and I wondered if it was this hard for Edward to watch me when he left. "I need you, Jake, but… not like this. I didn't want it to get this far, and I'm sorry it did."

"You're sorry?" he gasped softly. "Bella, you can't deny it; that was incredible. What we had- have – it's real."

I shook my head and swallowed. "I'm sorry, Jake. But it wasn't."

There was a moment of silence, the only sound the light pattering of rain against the kitchen window. "You're saying that what just happened wasn't amazingly magically real?" he asked.

I shook my head again, tears welling up in my eyes. My throat closed up as I struggled to speak. "I'm sorry." The words were cracked and soft, so soft I didn't think he heard them.

He let a long puff of air out of his nose as he looked around. His hands were awkwardly dangling at his sides, and I had the feeling he didn't know what to do with them. "You're a coward, you know that?"

I didn't know what to say, so I stood there quietly. I wringed my hands together, keeping my eyes on the ground. I bent down and picked up the previously dropped ice pack, clutching it with my fingertips to keep from freezing my fingers.

"You could be happy," he insisted, his voice urgent. "You could find happiness if you just believe that someone could want you."

"No." My voice was barely a whisper, and it shook on the simple word.

"But you couldn't take that chance," Jake continued. "You're a coward, Bella. You don't think that I can love you. But I can, and I will prove it to you. I will never stop trying, Bella. One day… One day, when you've finally moved on from that bloodsucker… One day you'll see, you belong with me."

I pursed my lips together, fumbling with the ice pack as he inched closer and closer. I couldn't let him get hurt the way I did. I had to end this before anything happened. "I don't love you, Jacob," I began. "I never have. You're my best friend, Jake, and without you I wouldn't have made it this far, but… we're nothing more than friends, and I don't want us to be. I don't love you."

"Then why did you kiss me?" he demanded. "I gave you two chances to stop, and then _you _kissed _me_."

"I just wanted some fun," I whispered. A single tear streaked down my face.

He was frozen in shock as he collected his thoughts. When he spoke, his body started to quiver, and his voice was low but shaky with anger. "Fun?" he repeated. I barely nodded. "I've spent the last how many months trying to fix you, Bella. Trying to glue back the pieces of your broken heart, the heart that was broken to the man you still love. And with every minute I spent with you, I fell more and more in love with you. I saved you today, Bells. I dove into the ocean and dragged you back to the surface, so that I could see you live one more day. And you thought it would be okay to _play with me?_"

"Jake, it's not like that!" I insisted. In my attempt to protect him, I'd just hurt him. I couldn't do anything right.

"No, you've made it very clear."

He turned around and stormed away from the kitchen. I followed, calling his name, tears running down my cheeks. He burst through the front door, flinging it behind him as he ran out into the pouring rain. I followed in hot pursuit, jogging to catch him.

I stopped in the driveway as he started the engine in his Rabbit and, without a second glance at me, drove away.

I stayed standing in the rain long after my already damp shirt and jeans had soaked through. My bare feet were frozen, and I couldn't move my toes. My sopping hair was dripping rivers onto the ground below. At some point, I collapsed in the rain, my body too weak to stand any longer. I didn't make any effort to get to shelter, or inside. I just laid on the ground and closed my eyes, the rain stinging a little as it hit my face. I was shivering so hard that my teeth were smashing together frequently, causing my whole body to shake with uncontrollable force, and I wondered for a fleeting second if this was how Jacob felt before he transformed into a wolf.

The sky started to darken, but the rain did not let up. I must have been here for hours, yet I was still awake. My body was exhausted, and I didn't think I could move even if I wanted to. And as I lay there in the rain, alone, one reoccurring thought appeared in my mind;

_I wish I was dead._

**A/N: What do you think? Please review, I accept constructive criticism, ideas, thoughts, mistake corrections and, most definitely, compliments ;)**

**Five reviews for another chapter? Pretty please?**

**~Pascal XOXO**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: So I'm meeting up with a friend tomorrow and catching a movie for her birthday, and I just realized that you don't care. But anyways, I painted my nails cobalt blue (new polish) and I'm waiting for remarkably untidy right hand to dry, and decided to start on chapter three :) Please enjoy and please please please**

**REVIEW!**

**You have no idea how excited I get when I see an email from labeled 'Review'. I literally cannot stop smiling and it makes my day, so even if it's just a smiley face or something little like that, please review!**

BPOV

My body felt like it was on fire, but I didn't have the strength to call out. My whole body was limp, and my brain was too blank to contemplate moving.

"Bella?" The call was followed by a car door slamming, and then a much closer, louder cry. "Bella!"

The voice was oddly familiar. If I had of been conscious, I would have recognized it in an instant, but, as it was, I was too far gone to think of anything but the prickling feeling of the rain drops on my bare skin and the pain stretching from my fingertips to my toes.

Every piece of me was frozen from the cold, too numb to even shiver even more. "Bella, love, can you hear me?" I tried to open my eyes, but my eyelids were too heavy. I just wanted to sleep…

"Bella, open your eyes," a second voice demanded. "Bella, please," she begged.

There were other noises, too, but it took longer to process them. My mind was foggy, and everything I heard felt hazy, like I was hearing it through a locked door, or a wall. I tried to focus my hearing past the two closest voices, to the ones behind them.

A woman was crying. It was such a heartbreaking sob that I longed to reach out and comfort her. My mouth tried to form soothing words, but I couldn't even part my lips. I felt sorry for this lady – it sounded like she was undergoing a great tragedy, like losing a child.

Another familiar voice was about the same distance away. He sounded professional, and his collected voice was both soothing and calm. My eyelids grew heavier as I found more and more comfort where I was.

I struggled to open my eyes, but something was keeping them glued shut. It was like a dream I used to have as a child, where no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't open my eyes. More rain pelted my delicate skin, and the voices sounded further and further away, and I was so tired…

I gave in to sleep almost immediately afterwards.

"Stay out of her future," Alice muttered angrily. "She'll move on soon enough." She turned to shoot a deathly glare at Edward, and I felt sorry for him. Alice's mind was no doubtedly a hurricane of anger directed at him.

"And look where she is now!" Her rage grew louder, and her glare towards Edward intensified as she halted her pacing.

"Alice," Esme said softly, coming and placing a hand on her daughter's shoulder. "Edward already feels terrible, let's leave him some peace, shall we?"

"I deserve it," he murmured, and I frowned as I continued to check Bella over from upstairs, my brain checking sub-consciously for her pulse and blood flow.

It only took me a second to arrive downstairs, my hands in my pockets. Everyone, even Rosalie, turned to pay attention to me.

"How is she?" Esme whispered.

"Not good," I sighed, deciding the blunt truth would be best. Edward was the one I had to protect the most, and he would see straight through my lies anyways. "We arrived just time. By the time Charlie got home, she'd probably have…" I stopped at the grim look of despair on Edward's face. "She'll need plenty of rest. She's quite sick, so we'll need to keep the noise level down. I'm uncertain as to whether she'll need to be transferred to hospital, but right now we can provide the medication she needs."

"She'll live, then?" Emmett asked, hopefully. I could tell Edward was surprised at his brother's strong concern for Bella, but he never understood that when we left, we all lost either a daughter or a sister. We all had feelings for Bella, ours just weren't as passionate or as strong as Edward's.

"Most likely," I nodded. "If-"

"Most likely?!" Edward hissed.

I hesitated, unsure of how to deal with his reaction. "If she takes a turn for the worse, I'm sure either I or the hospital will be able to treat her accordingly."

"Bella will be alright," Esme assured him, coming to take a seat beside him on the couch. She placed a delicate hand on his. "We'll make sure no harm comes to her."

"No harm?" he whispered, looking at his mother in the eyes. "She tried to kill herself because of my choice. She tried to _die,_ Esme. It's all my fault."

"You think we don't feel guilty, too?" Alice burst. Edward turned to look at his petite but frighteningly scary sister. "How can you think this isn't hard on us, as well? Look at Jasper! There's not a day that goes by where he doesn't feel remorse for not being strong enough, when it was clearly not his fault! Emmett and Rosalie miss their little sister." Rosalie looked like she was about to chip in, but a glare from Alice sent her into silence. "Esme and Carlisle want their daughter back. And I want my best friend back, Edward." Her voice softened on her last line. "I miss her too, you know. I love her, too. She was my best friend and my sister, and I miss her. Any one of us could of sent an email, a text. Any one of us could have written a letter, or made a phone call. When you were gone on your little trips tracking Victoria, any one of us could have gotten in the car or bought a plane ticket and come to see how she was. We could have convinced her to hang on a little longer, or taken her to you. We all know that once you saw her, you wouldn't be able to let go again, unless she didn't want you back. This is all our fault, Edward. We're all taking blame."

"But in the end, it was my decision to leave her here, broken," Edward whispered. He turned to look at the window. "I deserve full blame."

"Would you just shut up and listen!" Alice screamed. Edward looked surprise, but paid full attention and sat in silence as Alice continued on. "Did you not hear anything I just said? Jasper's taking blame for attacking Bella. Carlisle and Esme are taking blame for leaving their daughter. Rosalie and Emmett are taking blame for not contacting her in some way. I'm taking the blame for not watching her more closely."

"I made the decision to-"

"To not let me watch her future," she sighed angrily. "I know, Edward. But in the end, it was _my _choice to listen to you. I could of watched her, but I didn't. You don't think I don't feel guilty for that. We're all taking unnecessary blame, but we need to stop feeling guilty, and start helping the sick girl in the bed upstairs." Her last sentence was directed at everyone. "Okay?"

There was a murmur of 'sure' and 'yeah', and everyone nodded, still shocked from Alice's outburst.

"Hmph," she nodded. "Now, I'm going hunting. I don't know about all of you, but I'm planning on staying in Forks, and I'm ravenish. I'm going to go hunt before I put Bella in harm's way. Anyone coming?"

Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper and Esme left the house, Esme planting a kiss on my cheek before exiting. They all understood that Edward and I couldn't leave. I had to be here to monitor Bella and make sure her condition didn't worsen, and we all knew we couldn't drag Edward from her.

"Can I go and see her?" he asked softly.

I nodded, with a warning to not make physical contact with her. "She needs to stay warm, and our body temperature should lower her health. We need to maintain the level we have now, and we can't risk her taking a turn for the worse."

As soon as I finished speaking, Edward whisked upstairs to sit by her bedside, while I headed to the kitchen to make a phone call to the police station.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: So I haven't been getting many reviews, which I guess is kind of disappointing, mainly because my last story almost reached 300 reviews! Thank you so much to all of you have left even the simplest of reviews, and thank you to the two people who reviewed on my last chapter – Khailybird and Maja (who is a guest). Thank you so so much lovelies! Last week I didn't put '5 reviews till my next chapter' and I guess people decided to not say anything, so I'm sorry, but this week I will put that at the bottom, because otherwise, how am I supposed to know if people are actually reading this or not?**

**Anyways, please read, enjoy and review!**

_I was drowning again. The waves pounding against the rocks above my head only added to the intense pressure pushing down on me. My instincts told my body to struggle, to fight for life, but I was so weak. Wouldn't it just be easier to give up? To stop the endless battle, to finally succumb and allow myself to pass into the void. There would be no pain, no stress, no agony, just blank emptiness._

"_Bella?"_

_The single word was enough to make me frown, opening my slowly closing eyelids. It wasn't the word, however, but the voice behind it. The voice that belonged to the reason for my existence._

"_Bella, love, are you alright?"_

_My lungs were bursting, the oxygen already running out. My chest was constricting, and black spots started to colour my vision. Lines were blurring, and my body was limp, weak from trying to stay awake. _

"_Carlisle!"_

_The beautiful, angelic voice was strained and desperate. Something was wrong. I tried to concentrate, to distract myself from the physical pain I was enduring, as I tried to place my finger on the problem._

_It was then that I realized what was missing; the beautiful lilting sound, and a crooked smile with bronze hair that fell perfectly to match. That was just plain wrong – the voice shouldn't sound like this. I had to do something._

_With a thundering crashed that echoed all the way under the water to where I was drifting, another waved was tossed against the rocks, swirling the current in opposite directions as the ocean fought with itself, dragging me further under and under._

"_Breathe, Bella, breathe," another voice demanded. "Just breathe-"_

I gasped as I sat up, throwing the cover off my sweaty body. My body fought for air as my chest rose up and down, up and down. A round of sighs echoed around the room, but I barely registered another presence as I started to cough.

A large, steady hand gently patted my back, waiting for me to stop.

When my coughing fit subsided, I looked up, pushing the hair off my face. I was met with two amber eyes, so intoxicating and inebriating that I found myself once again struggling to breathe, not on such a dramatic scale this time, however.

After a few seconds, I managed to tear my view away, only to be met with six other pairs of perfect eyes. My voice hitched in my throat as I struggled to speak. I looked around desperately, trying to find something to say, when my eyes rested on a petite figure in a corner.

"Alice?" I managed to whisper.

Her eyes widened in delight. "Bella!" she cried, a smile forming on her lips. By her side, Jasper smiled softly as well, his hands resting gently on his wife's hips.

I closed my eyes, my still groggy brain trying to process the facts. "Oh," I gasped lightly, swiftly turning around. "You," I breathed. I marveled at his fine features – my memory hadn't done him justice. But his bronze hair still fell perfectly the same way, and his crooked smile was as crooked as ever.

"Me," he whispered, making sure I could hear, but even so, I still strained my ears.

The movie-scene moment was ruined when I turned away, sneezing delicately (or as delicately as I could manage) into two hands. I sneezed twice more before turning back to him. His angelic face wasn't the same, though. Concern lined his brow, and his hands were half extended towards me.

"What happened?" I asked. It was only now that I noticed the pounding headache, blocked nose and sore throat that now seemed so painful.

Edward cast a nervous glanced at Carlisle before answering me. "Bella, love, when we found you, you were lying in the rain outside your house." Memories started to swirl in my mind, faint images and echoes. "_You're a coward."_

"Do you remember what happened?" Carlisle asked.

"I- I-" I managed to stutter, but Edward's piercing eyes were doing nothing to help my lack of speech.

"Do you need more sleep, Bella?" Emmett called rowdily from the corner. I whipped around to face him, half-stunned that he was being so loud in such a pressing conversation.

"Emmett," Esme scolded, throwing him a look of concern, but I couldn't help myself – a large grin broke out on my face.

"I'm a little groggy when I wake up," I admitted shyly to him.

"Not a morning person, hey?" he laughed. At his side Rosalie was livid, but he ignored her depressing mood.

"Your hair looks like a haystack," Edward whispered in my hair. My eyes widened in embarrassment and I quickly tried to pat it down, combing through the strands with my fingers. "But I like it," he continued. I turned around to stare at him, mouth wide open and eyes slightly wider than usual.

It was then that I started to wonder if I was dreaming. Or maybe the past few months had just been some sort of horrible nightmare. My brain struggled to come up with a possible solution. Maybe Edward had left two days after my tragic birthday party to go hunting. Maybe I was left alone overnight and went sleep walking outside. It wouldn't surprise me.

But I knew it wasn't true. There was still an aching pain in my heart that wouldn't leave. I couldn't tell what feeling it was, but it felt like a gaping hole that was only partially stitched up. There was a word to describe this emotion, I knew, but I couldn't describe it.

"Do you have any idea how you got outside, Bella?' Carlisle asked again. "You must have been in the rain for a couple of hours."

"Umm… I…" It was like a tsunami, and all at once memories flooded my mind again. Jacob dragging me through the water and onto the rocky shore… in the truck, our fingers inches apart… the sound of the ice hitting the kitchen tiles… the passionate, heated kiss we shared… the feeling as I broke Jacob's heart… how he didn't look back as he drove away, and I stood there, in the rain, until my body failed me.

I gasped lightly. "No," I whispered.

"Bella?" Edward asked behind me.

"Edward, I've done something horrible," I replied softly, turning back to him. "I have to go!"

The pain in my chest intensified as I pulled away from Edward, trying to slide off the couch. I only just comprehended that I was in the Cullen's living room.

"Not so fast," he chuckled, wrapping one strong arm around my waist and pulling me back towards him.

"You don't understand," I pleaded, turning around to beg for his face. "I've made a terrible mistake – I've done something horrible! I have to make things right."

"You can make things right after you've healed a little, Bella," Carlisle assured me.

"But this is urgent!"

"So is your recovery," he countered. "The day before yesterday I wasn't convinced you would make it."

"But… I was just lying in the rain," I asked, confused. I could feel Edward tense beside me. I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye, and he was wincing. "I mean, how could I not-"

"It was very cold, and your body was very weak," Carlisle told me softly. "Your body was almost ready to give up, to stop fighting. Luckily, we found you just in time."

I was about to protest, claiming I was fine now and had to leave immediately, when I hesitated. "Why… how did you find me?"

Carlisle looked at Edward quickly, and I didn't miss it. "Edward?" I asked.

"Alice… had a premonition," he replied slowly. "We decided it was best to return to Forks before making any rash decisions."

"Rash decisions?" I questioned. "What do you mean?"

"He means going to Italy and asking the Volturi to kill him," Rosalie butt in. I stared at her in horror.

"Wha- why?!" I turned back to Edward, staring him down. "Why would you do that, Edward? Don't you know how much your family loves you? How much they need you?" _How much I need to know your still in this world, _I added silently.

He winced, his body shifting slightly, as if he wanted to wrap his arms around me, but he didn't. I scolded myself for thinking that. If I wasn't so hyped up about going to La Push, to Jacob, I'm sure I would have tried to kiss him by now.

He was silent, frowning, before answering me. "I wasn't… I wasn't sure I could keep… living, if that's what I'm doing."

"Why not?" I asked. "You have plenty of things to live for!"

"I didn't," he said softly. I was about to interrupt when he continued. "I didn't have you. I didn't have the knowledge that I would see you again. I didn't even have the comfort of knowing you were safe, in the same world I was."

I paused, and I swore my heart skipped a beat. "What do you mean?" I barely breathed.

"I think it would be best if we left you two alone," Esme offered politely behind us. I would have turned around and thanked her, but I couldn't bring myself to tear my gaze from Edward's. The other Cullen's filed out and into the grand background before I spoke.

"What, exactly, was in Alice's vision?" I asked. My eyes widened in response to his grim face. "You saw me fall off the cliff."

"I saw you jump off the cliff, Bella," he replied. He seemed almost angry, now. "I watched you take your own life. How could I stand that? How could I live, with the memory of you, ragged and broken, standing on the cliff ledge and whispering goodbye… How could I live with that memory playing on repeat in my mind? You didn't resurface, and I feared the worst."

"Jacob," I whispered. "He saved me."

"Who's Jacob?"

"Jacob Black, from La Push," I responded. "I've been spending some time with him lately."

"You've been hanging out at the Reservation?" Edward asked. He seemed intensely concerned.

"Yes… why?"

"Who else have you seen or talked to down there?" I stared at him in confusion.

"Umm… Billy, Jake's dad… Sam Uley… Some of Jacob's friends…" I continued to list.

"What are Jacob's friend's names, Bella?" His usually amber eyes had darkened to an angry black, which only happened when he was angry.

"Quill, Embry, Paul-" I stopped when Edward disappeared from in front of me. I looked around for a moment before turning to the window. "What's the matter?"

"Does Jacob have any… special abilities?" Edward asked. His voice was odd, concerned, angry and sad all at once. I couldn't see his face, though, because he was facing outside.

I froze when I realized that Edward knew what Jacob was. "He's kind of a… werewolf," I answered quietly.

"You've been hanging out with _werewolves_?" Edward asked angrily, whipping around and walking towards me. His fists were clenched at his sides, and I stood up, ready to back away. For the first time in my life, I was really scared of Edward Cullen.

"Not the whole time!" I protested. "Jake was perfectly human until a while ago. Then he started acting really weird, and he stopped talking to me. But he kept his promise, and he came and spoke to me one night. He told me he physically couldn't tell me what he was, but if I guessed, then it would be okay. I put the pieces together on my own."

"So not only have you been hanging out with a werewolf, but you've been hanging out with a _new _werewolf?" Edward was absolutely livid.

"I don't understand, Edward." He was frozen in place, and looked exactly like a statue. A white, cold, statue. "What's the problem?"

"Do you have any idea how… unpredictable werewolves are?" he roared. "They have no patience, or tolerance. They can't control their anger, and if you're around one when they lose their temper, they'll kill you!"

"Jacob couldn't hurt me," I defended, although an image of Emily appeared in my mind.

"It doesn't matter whether they want to or not, Bella!" Edward yelled angrily. "They can't control it, even less so when they first start to transform!"

"Jacob and his pack have only ever done things to look out for me," I protested. "He would never… He's been helping me!"

"How could such a lowly life form help you?" he asked, genuinely curious. I could see he was trying to simmer his anger.

"With… vampiric problems?" I answered, but it came off as a question.

Edward tensed again. "What sort of 'vampiric problems'?" he asked.

"The kind that involve Victoria and Laurent," I whispered.

His whole body froze for a moment, and I could see his animalistic side rising to the surface, and I got ready to scream for Alice, but, in the blink of an eye, he was gone.

I felt two emotions at once; the first one was confusion, before I remembered he was faster than my eyesight. The second was shame. I felt horrible about preparing myself to yell for help from Edward. I knew him better than that – he would never hurt me!

"Bella?"

I recognized Alice's voice and turned around to look at her, my eyes still wide from Edward's disappearance. "Are you okay?" she asked.

For months, I'd been rehearsing my answer to that. "I'm fine", or, "just tired", I'd say. I'd smile a little, and make excuses to leave. I was an expert on excuses. Excuses as to why I couldn't attend the school excursion, or go to Port Angeles or Seattle with the other girls. Excuses as to why I couldn't eat dinner with Charlie, or why I couldn't go to school that day. Never once had I looked someone in the eye and shook my head.

But today was different. Today I had woken up, finally, to the love of my life at my side, and somehow managed to not kiss him, or beg for him to stay a while. Today, I told the truth. I shook my head, let the tears go, and allowed Alice to hug me while I cried.

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed :) Seven reviews for the next chapter post please :)**

**~Pascal**


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